Flunked... Moody

I practically flunked every subject so far... Lang Arts, Chi and Geog... I'm so damn freaking sad right now. Crying is smth I'll never do because I don wanna appear fragile.. but deep inside.. it's so filled with regret and grief... I'm really bleeding on the inside... Who can help me now? Although I flunked it.. God knows who would always tell me that other people failed.. I should be glad it wasn't me at least...

But, I am way below my expectations.. I'm so freaking lousy... I thought I would score well for chi.. but who cud have known... I am like.. the 2nd or 3rd lowest in class? I didn't fail I know.. but what's the difference.. I'd end up facing the music and feeling down like as if I've been dumped or smth. I have to scream my feelings out on this bloody blog... no one in reality can cure my "state of depression". Tis is so freaking disappointing lah.. I cannot stand it... why me.. why must it be me that score so badly? why? Why can't I be like Ailing? She gets every subject so high.. I'm like.. growing green with envy? FREAK... God if you do exist... Pls help me!

I'm so desperate I'm seeking spiritual help... This isn't me... god dammit... zzz... I dunno what to do le.. hope for the worst? I felt like ending my life when I was 5 years old.. Please don't repeat such a horrible thought in my mind again... it hurts so much... It's so unfair... have I not studied hard enough? have I been taught a lesson by God? It's so damn freak... It's so damn ass... It's so damn DAMN!

I suck like number "7", I suck like CO2, I suck like plus and minus, I suck just like a "PRO". A poem I invented over chem... to make this post sound less negative...