miss chan leaves~

Aww.. so sad sia.. Ms Chan ZP leaving RV le~ I'm gonna so miss her X_x Anyway.. ms chan hope u dun mind, I took sum fotos tt u put on ur posts to put here =X cos I wan look at it everydae~ XD

This is us, taking a last photo together with ms chan x_X. she's dressed in RV uniform too~ haha! so cute ryt! abit weird oso laa! -being too frank- =x HAHHA! anyw.. I'm so gonna miss her.. >_< altho I'm not e emo kind, still got feeling 1 ryt...
Hope she does well in university and stay healthy =D It's not the end, we still keep in contact thru msn~ ^^

~

My mum never will be happy about this daughter

I'm so disappointed with my mum todae. I had to get new jeans so that I can prepare to go UK.. she scolded me for not trying the jeans on the weekend and delayed it until today... She threw my jeans hard on the table to show her unhappiness. Made my dad realised it and I got a even bigger scolding.

I never talked back.. this time... i successfully held back my desire to talk back out of respect for my mum.. but who would know.. it wasn't appreciated.. no matter what I do.. she really never will be pleased eh? I'm typing tis post within sobs.. if there's any typo.. too bad. I usually would talk back and yell out what I felt was wrong on her part... However.. this time I did not do so... why did she show me such a evil side.. WHY?

I'm soo hurt. Freaking hurt. Mentally worned out. This wouldn't be a trip as pleasant as what I had in mind. THANKS alot mum. For ruining my day. Thx.

Leaving for UK soon

Hahax.. time passes so fast, now I'm 14 and halfway through the year. This morning, smth really shocked me. Today is the first time Ailing became so cold towards me. I was indeed really really confused. Gayle told me Ailing told her smth and I can sorta guess what it is though... If its about science lesson last fridae.. then I'm really sorry sia.. din noe u got so upset X_x

Well, stuff is alot better between us now.. Ailing was better to us after home econs lesson, which made me sigh with relief XD We're all laughy now.. so I guess this matter came to an end. We really patch up really fast eh? Guess that's our personality similarity xD hahax...

I'm gonna leave for UK really soon... in like 6 days? Taking the 8.40pm flight this sundae! Whose gunna come and send me off? XP hahax... LS (Lydia sux) apparently decides to bring granula bars along so I could get a bite out of it, really happy and excited about the things we're gunna do there and the fun we'll b having! Haven't start packing my luggage yet.. bet no one has though..

So sadZ... cudn't go to west m'sia trip with the rest of the class.. why muz these two trips clash? of brother... ZzZ... I'm suddenly into a game called Soldier Front, its really 100% a GUYS' game... that's one thing I can garantee.. mayb I'm a lil tomboyish or it just humours me as I see people die within gunshots XD ppl who are interested in tryin tis game out just ask me for the website through msn~ heh~ Happy holidays! stay healthy! Tis girl will always luv euu!~

maybe can pass maths

Sigh... Just received my maths paper... X_X really scared.. I got 27/60 so far.. Yeah.. Obviously I did fail... I completely screwed my section A larh... For those who are at the borderline of failure... dun be so disheartened.. I really hate seeing people getting so sad over results that they are unwilling to exchange with mine.. I mean.. come on... I failed and you guys didn't... think positive man.. I wudda wanted ur score if I was given the choice...

Leeyin, dunn b so sad lerh bahz~ For u to b able to read my blog.. sortaa proves that ur mum didn't kick u outta de hse.. jus gambatte together for the next half of the year... we rly muz work harder and I'm sure we'll get this over. Now trying to hang on to my last glimmer of hope... I managed to find 2 mistakes that can award me with 3 marks.. if I get this 3 marks.. I will get onto mount everest and fly down man.. it really will rock... pass-ing is all I want for maths... Hope that isn't too much to ask for though X_x

For those who failed along with me... I'm sure we'll be able to do better next half of the year if we try harder... But I can predict i definitely won't get into triple science classes... I'm like a complete failure lah...

My "impactful" message of the day. A mirror is always worse than a wall. Although they both won't allow you to see what's beyond the present and take a peek into the future. As you look into the mirror, you are constantly reminded of the failure that you are.. But at least for the wall... you won't be so affected by what you see because all you see is a flat and virtual image of what's going on in life at that point of time, no matter what happens.. all I can say is.. nvr be disheartened by a small failure you make in life.. always pretend nth happened and strive to work even harder.. and I'm sure.. this message can lead people to success =)

Flunked... Moody

I practically flunked every subject so far... Lang Arts, Chi and Geog... I'm so damn freaking sad right now. Crying is smth I'll never do because I don wanna appear fragile.. but deep inside.. it's so filled with regret and grief... I'm really bleeding on the inside... Who can help me now? Although I flunked it.. God knows who would always tell me that other people failed.. I should be glad it wasn't me at least...

But, I am way below my expectations.. I'm so freaking lousy... I thought I would score well for chi.. but who cud have known... I am like.. the 2nd or 3rd lowest in class? I didn't fail I know.. but what's the difference.. I'd end up facing the music and feeling down like as if I've been dumped or smth. I have to scream my feelings out on this bloody blog... no one in reality can cure my "state of depression". Tis is so freaking disappointing lah.. I cannot stand it... why me.. why must it be me that score so badly? why? Why can't I be like Ailing? She gets every subject so high.. I'm like.. growing green with envy? FREAK... God if you do exist... Pls help me!

I'm so desperate I'm seeking spiritual help... This isn't me... god dammit... zzz... I dunno what to do le.. hope for the worst? I felt like ending my life when I was 5 years old.. Please don't repeat such a horrible thought in my mind again... it hurts so much... It's so unfair... have I not studied hard enough? have I been taught a lesson by God? It's so damn freak... It's so damn ass... It's so damn DAMN!

I suck like number "7", I suck like CO2, I suck like plus and minus, I suck just like a "PRO". A poem I invented over chem... to make this post sound less negative...

i love xy dear!

When I was completely lost and a sudden lack of self-confidence in my tests... only one person was there for me... When I completely gave up all hope to get what I want... only one person succeeded in motivating me with her priceless support and encouragement.. She's non other than MY BESTEST FRIEND THAT GOD GAVE TO ME.. See Xinyi.

I love her so much... she's a dream come true.. X_X I never expected myself to be able to stand up again and tell myself i can do it once more. She gave me confidence and new hope. She's really an angel given to me by god.. I must have done something wonderful in my past life... For the sake of getting into the same university with her, I have to work my ass in and out, mug like shit! I have to spend my university years with her.. just thinking there is 4 more years till that day.. my heart breaks and memories of our separation re-appear in my mind X_X

Today had a meaningful convo with her! :) I love you gal! Promise we're be best friends forever! :D

I'm tired of this, shut up

Hais.. where are you when I need you most... I'm dying of boredom lah k... hurry talk to me! Nowadays I'm getting really sick of SOMEBODY who keeps on asking me whats tested whats tested.. LIKE HELL I'LL KNOW IF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YOURSELF. I suppose u noe who u are.. always ask everyone else for smth u presume only you don't know.

I know you strive to do better than others, but cud U QUIT DOING IT?! IM GETTING SO SICK OF IT OK. Everytime ask us to let you copy notes, everytime tell me I'm treating you so unfairly frm my other frens... everytime U GIVE ME DAT DARN FRAGILE FACE OF URS.. one of these days you will force me to ignore u completely. The problem lies with urself, I'm not unreasonable, I'm not avoiding you becus of anyting else but ur own personal attitude. Realise it soon man.. or one of these days it will be more than I CAN TAKE!

I hope all my frens can do well in this IP assessment, everyone but you. You try so hard to make sure you knew what others knew and even more, what's your problem? Can't accept the fact that there are ppl out there smarter than you? Face reality man, you're not the best, I will make sure you're worse off than me. If you ever read this and can't tell that I'm talking about you, then you're hopeless. Go to hell. Stop this shit or I'm really gonna go berserk and show you a side of me not even my family has witnessed before.

Darn thing. Quit drivin' me bong bongz... get outta my life if you refuse to change.